My name is Brian Davey, and I'm running for President.

My fellow Americans, my name is Brian Davey, and I'm running for President.

As you may have already noticed, I am not alone in this venture. There have been a few other, somewhat better known, debatably better qualified people out there that have announced similar aspirations in recent weeks.

The media is giving them far more attention than they are giving me. You would think that would upset me, but actually, it plays into my plans perfectly.

Why, you may ask?

The answer is simple. My strategy is like a stealth bomber. I fly under the radar. Invisible to all. Then, when the time is right, I strike, and drop a MOAB on the couple of people still standing.

While Hillary and Obama waste countless dollars beating eachother up, while McCain and Giuliani exchange blows, I sit. And I wait.

I admit it. I'm not a front-runner right now. If I were forced to face any of these four right now, I'd go down in flames. They're just too popular and too powerful.

MGApparel's "Choking Yankees" shirt

BUT... In a year and a half, these people are gonna be covered in mud, bloodied and bruised from 18 months of attacking and being attacked, and that is when I strike.

And I will coast in as the only candidate not covered with mud.

In the coming weeks, I will touch on some of my campaign ideas, but in closing for today, in order to help my campaign funds, I ask that each of you take the time to order my Choking Yankees shirt from MGApparel.com. Show your support for me, and your appreciation for seeing the yankees lose.

God bless America, and thank you for your support.